When history is written, it’s often the powerful whose voices echo loudest. But sometimes, the most revealing insights come from those who served just a heartbeat away from power—people like Sarah Matthews.

Matthews, who served as Deputy Press Secretary under President Donald Trump, found herself at the crossroads of some of the most turbulent moments in recent American politics. From the feverish final days of the 2020 campaign through the chaos of January 6th, 2021, she witnessed firsthand the inner workings of an administration defined by loyalty, fear, and a relentless battle for control of the narrative.

In a candid conversation with David Pakman on Substack Live, Matthews peeled back the curtain on life inside the Trump White House, the culture of information control, the aftermath of the Capitol insurrection, and her own complicated journey through the shifting sands of American conservatism.

The Trump White House: “Big Personalities, Inner Fighting, and Managing the Principal”

For millions of Americans, the Trump White House was a place of larger-than-life drama, where headlines seemed to write themselves and every day brought a new controversy. For those working inside, Matthews explains, it was even more intense.

“It was a lot of big personalities,” she recalls. “There was a lot of inner fighting going on and… people just constantly going behind each other’s back, going to the boss with things and trying to get him to do things the way that they wanted.”

This wasn’t just palace intrigue for the sake of gossip. In Trump’s West Wing, the stakes were high, and survival often meant staying in the president’s good graces. “Trying to manage him and keep him happy and stay in his good graces was sometimes a delicate tightrope,” Matthews says.

After the 2020 election, as Trump pushed unfounded claims of voter fraud, the mood grew darker. “A lot of people were kind of avoiding him during that time because they were afraid of his outbursts and how he would react,” Matthews remembers. Even Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany, Matthews’ boss, would “actively avoid him in the West Wing” to sidestep demands that could violate the Hatch Act.

The Evolution of Belief: Did Trump Really Think the Election Was Stolen?

One of the most persistent questions about the post-election period is whether Trump truly believed his own claims about a stolen election. According to Matthews, the answer is complicated.

“He was definitely told by people that he lost,” she says. “So, it’s not like he can claim ignorance.” But as Trump surrounded himself with loyalists willing to echo his narrative, he seemed to retreat into a self-reinforcing bubble. “He stopped listening to those people and started listening to the people who were telling him what he wanted to hear… I think when you tell yourself something enough times, you actually start to believe it.”

The result was a feedback loop, with Trump at the center, amplifying and consuming his own talking points. “I think over time he’s convinced himself that it was rigged and stolen and that he was the actual winner,” Matthews concludes.

The Yes-Men and the Opportunists: Who Shaped the Narrative?

But what about those around Trump? Were they true believers, or just opportunists?

Matthews sees a mix. “You look at someone like Rudy Giuliani… I think he saw it as an opportunity to get close to Trump and kind of be his right hand, but then I think maybe there’s a little bit of ‘cuckoo’ happening up there too.” For others, like Sidney Powell, Matthews suspects the conspiracy theories were as much a ticket to power as a matter of conviction.

This dynamic—of true believers and cynical opportunists—helped fuel the chaotic energy of the final days. “Some combination of the two,” Matthews says, “saw an opportunity and seized it.”

Information Control: How the President’s World Was Filtered

One of the most fascinating aspects of Matthews’ account is her description of how information was managed for the president. In theory, the president of the United States has access to more information than anyone else on earth. In practice, the flow of news is tightly controlled.

“When I was there, we would print out news articles for him that we knew would make him happy,” Matthews reveals. “If we were worried he might be in a bad mood… we would print out these positive news articles or positive tweets praising him to kind of, you know, butter him up and get him in a good mood.”

This wasn’t just about ego. It was also about risk management. “You have to be really careful with what you present Trump with and what you put in front of him because he has a tendency when he hears something, it kind of sticks in his brain and then he’ll just repeat it.”

The result was a president whose worldview was shaped as much by his staff’s curation as by the realities outside the White House gates. Matthews notes that this is not unique to Trump—Joe Biden’s staff, she says, also shielded him from bad news, sometimes to his detriment. But in the Trump White House, the filtering was relentless, and the consequences immediate.

The Night Owl Tweeter: Trump’s Social Media Habits

For those who watched Trump’s late-night and early-morning social media sprees with amazement, Matthews offers a simple explanation: “For the most part, these are messages that are coming from him, especially those ones that are in the late hours… those are more than certainly coming from him and not scheduled posts.”

Trump’s unique “flair,” she says, is unmistakable. “He has his own flare that he adds to his posts as you can probably imagine… he’s just sitting up all night posting.”

The Epstein Controversy: Spinning, Denying, Distracting

The conversation shifts to one of the most explosive topics in recent months: the ongoing revelations surrounding Jeffrey Epstein and the conflicting statements from Trump and his allies.

Matthews sees a familiar pattern: “I think it’s largely Trump dictating the strategy and him just throwing whatever he can at the wall and seeing what will stick.”

In the past, she notes, Trump’s ability to outlast scandals was almost legendary. “He is like Teflon. It seems like nothing has an ability to stick with him and that the news cycle kind of quickly moves on.” But the Epstein story, she observes, is different. “This is kind of uncharted territory where it seems like he isn’t used to a story sticking around for this long.”

As the narrative shifted—from denying any connection, to blaming Obama and Comey, to claiming he kicked Epstein out of Mar-a-Lago for being a “creep”—Matthews sees desperation. “Not all of these things can make sense. They don’t necessarily seem to go together.”

She suspects the truth may be simpler—and more damning. “Trump probably had insight into what Epstein was doing and what he was up to… I think that Trump may present it as like this was some heroic act—‘Oh, I kicked him out of my club.’ But at the end of the day, I think a normal decent human being who had that type of insider knowledge would have called the cops.”

After January 6th: Shock, Disgust, and Whitewashing

Perhaps the most emotional part of Matthews’ account comes when she describes the mood inside the White House on January 6th, 2021—the day a mob stormed the Capitol in an attempt to overturn the election.

“I was in the West Wing that day and I would say 99.9% of the people who were there with me that day were experiencing the same feelings that I was feeling. They were saddened. They were heartbroken. They were disgusted and shocked and disappointed, particularly with Trump and his handling of it and feeling like he didn’t meet the moment.”

Matthews resigned that day, along with several others. But she’s clear: “Not as many as one would have thought for after witnessing the first president in US history disrupt the peaceful transfer of power and incite an insurrection on our nation’s capital.”

In the months and years since, Matthews has watched with dismay as many in the Republican Party have “whitewashed” the events of that day. “There were many more people who agreed with me… but then there’s a lot of people who I still talk to this day who will tell me privately behind the scenes, ‘Hey, I really respect you for what you did and support you and everything that you’re doing and saying, like, keep up the good work.’ But these are people, some are members of Congress, some are their staff, and they’re not willing to publicly say these things.”

The Lonely Center: Searching for a Political Home

Matthews’ journey has left her politically adrift. Raised in the tradition of center-right Republicans like Mitt Romney and John McCain, she now finds herself alienated from a party that rewards loyalty to Trump above all else.

“I grew up being a Romney-McCain type of Republican. Those were the figures within the party that I admired and unfortunately a lot of the other Republicans in the party that I have admired have left office in recent years.”

She names figures like Senator Rob Portman and Congressman Will Hurd as examples of the kind of leaders she wishes the GOP would elevate. But the current system, she says, “doesn’t reward those types of Republicans, those more kind of normie types. It rewards those who are on the fringes.”

Would she consider supporting a Democrat? “Depending on who the Democrat 2028 candidate was, I would back for president.” For now, she’s watching and waiting, hoping for a return to a politics of principle.

Conclusion: Speaking Truth to Power

Sarah Matthews’ story is a reminder that history is shaped not just by those who hold power, but by those who bear witness. Her account of life inside the Trump White House is one of chaos and loyalty, of fear and courage, of the daily struggle to balance personal integrity with professional duty.

As the nation continues to grapple with the legacy of the Trump years, Matthews’ voice is a testament to the importance of speaking out—even when it comes at great personal cost. In a political era defined by noise, her candor is a breath of fresh air.

“Thank you so much for having me,” she said as the interview ended. The feeling, for anyone who cares about the truth, is mutual.

This article is based on an interview conducted on Substack Live with David Pakman and Sarah Matthews, former Deputy Press Secretary to President Donald Trump.