Woman destroys Crockett in amazing roast: “Oh, I know, I know I did not just see Jasmine Crockett get up there and say that Trump, the President of the United States, the Commander in Chief over our military — I didn’t know, I know! She did not just say that he needed to come ask her for permission before he made any military moves. Girl, you what?
Girlfriend, you need to go sit your self-righteous, spotlight-chasing, Constitution-ignoring behind all the way down. You ain’t commanding nothing! That bad wig and a Twitter account, maybe! Jasmine, honey, the last time I checked, he didn’t declare war, okay? He didn’t launch World War III. He just made a precision strike, legally. Go read the War Powers Act, sister.
Girl, he don’t need your signature. He don’t need your whiny little approval, okay? Well, you’re more delulu than I thought you were. You are cuckoo for some Cocoa Puffs, all right? If you honestly think that our President is going to stop mid-air strike and be like, “Ah, crap! I gotta go holla at Jasmine before I defend this country,” girl, bye!
Girl, he ain’t out here DoorDashing dinner. He’s out here protecting American lives. The fact that you’re out here more worried about your precious little feelings than our men and women in uniform that are overseas bobbing and weaving these missiles tells me everything I need to know and that I already knew about you, girlfriend.
So here’s some advice for you, Jasmine, okay? I’m gonna hold your hand when I say this, all right, sweetheart. If you want a man to come ask you for permission before he takes charge, download Bumble. So until then, stay in your own daggum lane, bless your heart, and keep America’s name out of your mouth if you can’t respect the ones that are protecting it. Okay?”
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